
Here's
how to ensure the largest muscle in your body isn't also the laziest.
The Science
Behind Your Booty
I'm alone
with a handsome young doctor who has his hands down my shorts, but neither of
us is too happy about it. Joseph Herrera, a doctor of osteopathic medicine,
furrows his brow as he struggles to untangle a 48-inch lead attached to an
electrode that he has taped to my butt. The electrode is slick with
conductivity gel and he's holding it in place as he attaches the other end of
the wire to the electromyography (EMG) machine, a hulking piece of equipment
that measures electrical activity in your muscles. Dr. Herrera, the
director of sports medicine at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine's
rehabilitation department in New
York City, has agreed to help me figure out what, if anything, is
going on with my glutes when I'm not explicitly working them out. Which is
almost never. And it shows. Or rather, doesn't show on my unremarkable, flat
butt.
On Dr.
Herrera's signal, I mimic myriad daily moves, including walking,
jogging at catch-a-bus speed, crouching to pursue a toddler, and shifting my
weight from hip to hip, as I do waiting in line at the ATM. With each movement,
the line on the machine's screen gives a pathetic little jump; the readout
looks like a lie detector test minus the lies. Dr. Herrera shrugs and says that
this is normal no matter what shape butt you have. "Your glute
muscles are typically not that engaged throughout the day," he
explains. "The quads do
a lot of the heavy lifting."
Then I
step up onto a stair and the screen's readout shows a violent spike. Finally,
my gluteus maximus is doing what it was born -- or rather, evolved --
to do: keeping me upright as I stride, especially during more
balance-challenging hikes up stairs.
Among the
things that differentiate us from our knuckle-dragging primate ancestors are
not only our big brains but our big butts -- or, as Stephanie P. Marango, MD, a
physician and anatomy expert in New York City, puts it, our well-developed
gluteus maximus. "That ability to be bipedal is a huge deal," Dr.
Marango says. "And it's this muscle that is really doing a major component of
that."
It's
ironic, then, that the largest muscle in our body, which has given humans their
signature upright strut, spends most of the day metaphorically sitting on its
butt.
Anything
Butt Normal
While we
obsess about shaping the ideal butt, the multibillion-dollar jeans industry and
even the government have been hoping to define exactly what the typical one
looks like. For years the rule of thumb for chairs was that seats be at least
18 inches wide -- to fit 95 percent of female fannies, because our hips outspan
men's -- or about three inches wider than this magazine when it's open. (Go
ahead, sit on it to see how you stack up.) Data confirmed that our collective
backside is indeed spreading.
When 3-D
scanning technology was developed, the air force, along with a group of
automotive engineers and apparel companies, was the first to use it, conducting
the CAESAR (Civilian American and European Surface Anthropometry Resource)
study, published in 2002. Thanks to CAESAR, "you can get a digital replica
of a whole butt in 3-D," says Kathleen Robinette, PhD, an anthropologist
at the U.S. Air Force research laboratory at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in
Ohio and director of CAESAR research. "You can prepare a before-and-after
scan, and see how apparel affects shape." The armed forces used such data
to reconfigure women's uniforms, adding "women's" cuts -- that is, a
wider hip and butt area -- to cover many more of their female soldiers without
resorting to costly alterations.
The
apparel industry subsequently pulled together with the U.S. Department of
Commerce to conduct the Size USA study, using different 3-D scanning with a
much larger, 10,000-person sample that included a wider range of body mass
indexes, ages, and ethnic backgrounds.
From
these studies, we've learned a lot about the average American female butt --
mainly that there's no such thing.
The Size
USA study found that 86 percent of women 26 to 55 years old who are between
five foot two and five foot seven and weigh less than 160 pounds have a seat
circumference of 37 to 43 inches at the widest point. Those numbers, however,
should be taken with a grain of salt, Robinette says. "As soon as you start
trying to make an amalgam, an 'average' female body, you lose touch with
reality," she explains. In other words, you can have a statistically
average butt size, but your weight, height, or waist measurement
is unlikely to be likewise average. A short woman with a so-called average butt
size would have a proportionately large bottom, whereas a tall, heavy woman
with an average butt size would have a proportionately small one.
In other
words, shopping for your dream butt in celebrity magazines is a bad idea.
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